Privacy Policy

Last updated: September 2026

No hamsters were harmed in the making of this website.

Hammy is a professional. He has never once been slapped, only doing the slapping himself, entirely of his own free will, under appropriate hamster-labor conditions with unlimited sunflower seed breaks. Any resemblance to workplace hazards is purely comedic.

What we collect

This site may collect basic technical information (like your browser type or general location) that most websites collect automatically. We are not currently in the business of selling your data to anyone, mostly because Hammy has no idea how to run a data brokerage and frankly neither do we.

Cookies

If this site uses cookies, they are the digital tracking kind, not the delicious kind. Hammy would eat the delicious kind immediately and refuse to share, which is frankly the more concerning privacy risk on this website.

Hammy's liability

Hammy cannot be held responsible for your data, your decisions, your browser history, or anything that happens after you watch one of his videos and can't stop thinking about slapping things. Hammy is a hamster. Hamsters do not have a legal department, a compliance officer, or opposable thumbs suited for signing binding contracts.

Third parties

Videos on this site are embedded from YouTube, which has its own privacy policy, its own opinions, and its own cookies (the tracking kind again, sorry). We are not responsible for what YouTube does, because Hammy does not have jurisdiction over Google.

Questions?

If you have real, non-hamster-related questions about your data, reach out and a human (not Hammy) will get back to you.